How to be Happier – 8 Paths to Happiness

HOW TO BE HAPPY! – Follow the paths to Happiness

The Study of Happiness and 8 Paths to Happiness

Positive Psychology is a field of study that emphasizes strengths and virtues rather than weaknesses and pathology. The study of happiness features the works of such noted psychologists as Martin Seligman, Edward Diener, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, and Daniel Kahneman.

NOT ALL LIFE PATHS LEAD TO HAPPINESS

• Wealth, for instance, and all the extra things which money can buy, do not lead to happiness. Research by Diener, among others, has shown that once your basic needs are met, additional income does little to raise your sense of satisfaction with life.
• A good Education or IQ – Neither education nor a high IQ paves the road to happiness.” School results are not the best criteria to measure or predict happiness or contentment and we frequently place too much emphasis on the grades of youngsters rather than on what Daniel Goleman calls their “emotional intelligence.”
• Youth – No again. In fact, older people are more consistently satisfied with their lives than the young. And they’re less prone to dark moods. . . .
• Marriage – A complicated picture: married people are generally happier than singles, but that might be because they were happier to begin with.

CONNECTIONS & RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE KEY

Not surprisingly, our connection with others is definitely a source of happiness. A study conducted by Diener and Seligman found that “the most salient characteristics shared by the 10% of students with the highest levels of happiness and the fewest signs of depression were the strong ties to family and friends and commitment to spending time with them.”

“It is important to work on social skills, close interpersonal ties, and social support in order to be happy.”

Sonja Lyubomirsky offers eight recommendations for achieving a life filled with satisfaction.

As you review this list it may be helpful to ask, “To what extent am I engaged in the activities she suggests?” Relatedly, “If I am not currently practicing these activities, what realistic steps can I take to do so?”

8 PROVEN PATHS TO HAPPINESS

1. Count Your Blessings.

Research indicates that when individuals record on a regular basis two or three things for which they are grateful, they experience greater optimism, connectedness to others, and more peaceful sleep. In our frenetic world, we can easily get caught up with pressures, stresses, and negativity
and fail to appreciate the good things in our lives, something as simple as a child or grandchild giving us a hug, a boss writing us a note of appreciation, a friend taking the time to send us an email with a series of jokes, or a spouse saying, “I love you.” – What are you grateful for?

2. Practice acts of kindness.

Occasions when people were asked to help others (e.g., tutor a younger child; assist in the secretary’s office; pass out the handouts) lead to boosted self-esteem. There appears to be an inborn desire to provide support and assistance to others, a desire that lasts a lifetime. For instance, elderly people who are actively involved in helping others have been found to lead more meaningful, longer lives.

3. Savour life’s joys – reduce distraction – Be truly present.

We live in a world bombarded with technology that pervades all aspects of our lives. Don’t let technology interfere with enjoying the moment. Must a meal at a restaurant with close friends or playing with one’s child be interrupted by answering a mobile phone call or checking email? Must people be on a mobile phone while jogging? Or must the television be on while your family is eating dinner? Distractions such as these lessen our enjoyment.  Pay more attention.

4. Thank a mentor.

How many people ever wrote to one of their favourite teachers to offer words of appreciation. Many have not. It will not only be a gift to that teacher but to themselves as well. Thanking a person who has enriched their lives; people report that doing so helped them to feel more satisfied and happy.
Consider a significant person in your life (it could be a mentor, a friend, or a relative) and write a note of appreciation to that individual. Notice the feelings that are generated. Go to a school reunion!

5. Learn to forgive.

The topic of forgiveness is receiving increasing attention, especially within the field of positive psychology. A major feature of forgiving is to insure that our lives not be dominated by intense anger and thoughts of revenge. We must appreciate that while we may not have had control over
hurtful actions, we have more choice than we realize in determining our response to the negative behavior of others. Let it go, move on and get over it..

6. Invest time and energy in friends and family.

In the book The Power of Resilience, Sam Goldstein highlights the importance of connections in promoting a resilient lifestyle. Unfortunately, many people do not devote the necessary time nurturing significant relationships. They tell me that they want to build these relationships but that
other commitments, especially work-related, interfere with their being able to do so. It is little wonder that they experience anxiety and depression, since they are not living a life in concert with what they say they value. Build in more time with your spouse, children, and friends. When we set as a priority the strengthening of our relationships, it is possible to accomplish. Read The Power of Less by Leo Babauta for more ideas.

7. Take care of your body.

Proper diet and exercise is critical, especially in light of the rise of obesity and health issues (e.g., diabetes). Health care experts have used the word “epidemic” to describe the number of children, adolescents, and adults who fail to exercise, who rely on junk foods and eat a poorly balanced diet,
and who are very overweight. Choosing to walk rather than drive one’s car to a near-by destination, to climb some steps instead of taking the elevator, or to spend a half-hour taking a stroll rather than watching television are excellent places to begin. Proper exercise and diet will lead to weight loss, a
better sense of oneself, and a feeling of control of one’s life – all important ingredients in promoting satisfaction and happiness.

8. Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships.

Leading a resilient lifestyle does not imply the absence of problems and stresses, but rather that when hardships arise, the person has developed effective ways of coping. A man with a pressure filled job learned to meditate for a few minutes in the morning and afternoon and reported being
better able to handle his work demands. The key factor is to be proactive rather than reactive by developing a wide range of coping strategies. When we feel in command of our emotions and behaviours, we are more inclined to experience contentment.

Best Wishes!

Studying positive aspects of life such as empathy, caring, compassion, altruism, integrity, forgiveness, spirituality, and humour continues to identify those factors that contribute to happiness, optimism, and resilience.

Further Reading about Paths to Happiness and Being Happier

Here’s a curated list of some of the most impactful and highly regarded books on happiness, spanning science, psychology, philosophy, and practical life design. They’re grouped by focus to help you choose the best fit for your goals:

1. Science & Psychology of Happiness

These books explore what research reveals about the human pursuit of happiness.

• The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt
  • A blend of ancient wisdom and modern psychology. Uses ten “Great Ideas” from historical thought and tests them through empirical science.
• Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert
  • A witty, research-based look at why we’re so bad at predicting what will make us happy.
• The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky
  • Practical, evidence-based techniques to increase happiness long-term. Includes quizzes and habit trackers.
• Optimism & Flourish – two books by Martin Seligman
  • From the founder of positive psychology. Goes beyond happiness to include meaning, accomplishment, and relationships.

2. Philosophical and Mindful Approaches

For those interested in deeper meaning and timeless perspectives.

• The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler
  • A gentle blend of Buddhist insight and Western psychology, focused on compassion and inner peace.
• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
  • A classic. Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Frankl explores how finding meaning is a core pillar of happiness, even amid suffering.
• The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
  • Two spiritual giants reflect on finding lasting joy despite life’s inevitable suffering.
• 10% Happier by Dan Harris
  • A skeptic’s journey into meditation and mindfulness as a way to calm the mind and find real contentment.

3. Habits, Lifestyle Design & Practical Frameworks

If you want to design a happier life through daily choices, mindset shifts, and routines.

• Atomic Habits by James Clear
  • While not solely about happiness, it’s one of the best guides to building habits that lead to a better life.
• The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
  • A personal year-long experiment in happiness — actionable and accessible with monthly themes.
• Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans
  • Stanford professors apply design thinking to crafting a joyful, purpose-filled life.
• The Blue Zones of Happiness by Dan Buettner
  • What the happiest places on Earth teach us about joy, meaning, and life satisfaction.

4. For Professionals or Leaders

Books that link happiness to success, productivity, and leadership.

• The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor
  • Shows how happiness fuels success — not the other way around. Backed by research and great for workplaces.
• Drive by Daniel Pink
  • Focuses on the psychology of motivation — autonomy, mastery, and purpose — and how these fuel lasting satisfaction.