Good Boss, Bad Boss by Robert Sutton – A Book Summary

SUMMARY OF GOOD BOSS, BAD BOSS

How to be the Best … and Learn from the Worst.

Probably the best book ever written on the tough parts of being a boss. Good Boss, Bad Boss by Robert Sutton (2010) from Stanford Business School. It contains great advice and wisdom for being a strong & assertive leader – a good boss – and tips for not being an ‘asshole’ while doing it. Robert Sutton also wrote the book “The No Asshole Rule”

THE MINDSET OF A GOOD BOSS

How would your people answer these questions about you?

1. Following the Fine Line (Lasorda’s law)

• Are you constantly thinking about and trying to walk the most constructive line between being too assertive and not assertive enough? Or are you neglecting to give people the guidance, wisdom, and feedback they need to succeed? Worse yet, are you obsessively monitoring and micromanaging every move they make?

2. Got Grit?

• Do you treat the work you lead as a marathon or a sprint – are you dogged and patient, pressing
  yourself and your people ever forward? Or do you look for instant cures, treat life as one emergency after
  another, and give up (or disappear) when the going gets tough?

3. Small Wins?

• Do you frame what your people need to accomplish as a series of small, realistic, and not
  overly difficult steps? Or do you usually propose grand goals and strategies without helping people break
  them into bite-sized pieces?

4. Beware the Toxic Tandem?

• Do you remind yourself that your people are watching you very closely – and do you act accordingly to avoid doing little things that undermine their performance and dignity? Or are you oblivious to this intense scrutiny and rarely (if ever) think about how the little things you do and say will be magnified in your followers’ minds?

5. Got Their Backs?

• Do you see your job as caring for and protecting your people, and fighting for them when necessary? Or do you consider it too much trouble to advocate for resources they need or too personally risky to battle idiocy from on high? When your people screw up, do you take the heat or hang them out do dry? When you screw up, do you admit it or point the finger of blame at your innocent underlings?

FEATURES OF A GOOD BOSS

• Performance.

  Does the boss do everything possible to help people do great work? The ultimate judgment about the quality and
  quantity of the work is best made by outsiders rather than insiders.

• Humanity.

  Does the boss do everything possible to help people experience dignity and pride? A boss’s humanity is usually best
  judged by insiders, especially followers.

BEING A WISER BOSS – ARE YOU SMART OR WISE?

Developing the Attitude of Wisdom – Smart versus Wise Bosses

SMART BOSSES: Have the confidence to act on what they know, but feel and express little doubt (in public or private) about what they believe or do.

Actions of a Smart Boss:

• Make definitive statements
• Answer questions
• Talk well
• Give help, but don’t ask for help and refuse it when offered
• Defend and stick to current course of action – have strong opinions that are strongly laid

WISE BOSSES: Have the confidence to act on what they know and the humility to doubt their knowledge

Actions of a Wise Boss:

• Make statements (often ‘backstage’) that reveal uncertainty and confusion
• Ask questions
• Listen well
• Give help, ask for help, and accept it when offered
• Challenge and often revise courses of action – have strong opinions that are weakly held.

12 Things Good Bosses Believe by Robert Sutton

1. I have a flawed and incomplete understanding of what it feels like to work for me.
2. My success — and that of my people — depends largely on being the master of obvious and mundane things, not on magical, obscure, or breakthrough ideas or methods.
3. Having ambitious and well-defined goals is essential, but it is useless to dwell on them excessively. My job is
   to focus on the small wins that enable my people to make a little progress every day.
4. One of the most important, and most difficult, parts of my job is to strike the delicate balance between
   being too assertive and not assertive enough.
5. My job is to serve as a human shield, to protect my people from external intrusions, distractions, and idiocy
   of every stripe — and to avoid imposing my own idiocy on them as well.
6. I strive to be confident enough to convince people that I am in charge, but humble enough to realize that I
   am often going to be wrong.
7. I aim to fight as if I am right, and listen as if I am wrong — and to teach my people to do the same thing.
8. One of the best tests of my leadership — and my organization — is “what happens after people make a
   mistake?”
9. Innovation is crucial to every team and organization. So my job is to encourage my people to generate and
   test all kinds of new ideas. But it is also my job to help them kill off all the bad ideas we generate, and most
   of the good ideas, too.
10. Bad is stronger than good. It is more important to eliminate the negative than to accentuate the positive.
11. How I do things is as important as what I do.
12. Because I wield power over others, I am at significant risk of acting like an insensitive jerk — and not realizing it.

The 11 Commandments for Being a WISE Boss

1. Have strong opinions and weakly held beliefs
2. Do not treat others as if they are idiots
3. Listen attentively to your people; don’t just pretend to hear what they say.
4. Ask a lot of good questions.
5. Ask others for help and gratefully accept their assistance.
6. Do not hesitate to say, ‘I don’t know’.
7. Forgive people when they fail, remember the lessons.
8. Fight as if you are right, and listen as if you are wrong.
9. Do not hold grudges after losing an argument. Instead, help the victors implement their ideas with all your might.
10. Know your foibles and flaws, and work with people who correct and compensate for your weaknesses.
11. Express gratitude to your people.

 FAQs About Being a Great Boss (Inspired by Robert Sutton)

Q: What’s the biggest leadership blind spot revealed in ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss’?

• That most bosses think they’re better than they are. Sutton stresses that bosses are constantly under a magnifying glass — small slips in tone, attitude, or reaction can be massively amplified in the minds of employees. The biggest blind spot? Not realising how deeply your behaviour is being scrutinised — and misinterpreted.

Q: What is the ‘Toxic Tandem’ and how does it affect employee performance?

• The Toxic Tandem is Sutton’s term for the dangerous power dynamic where bosses underestimate how much their actions and moods affect others. Employees obsess over their boss’s micro-moods and inconsistencies, but bosses rarely think twice. This mismatch leads to stress, fear, and overcompensation from staff — a subtle but powerful form of toxicity.

Q: How do I know if I’m a “Smart Boss” or a “Wise Boss”?

• Smart bosses have confidence — but Wise bosses balance confidence with doubt. If you never say “I don’t know,” never ask for help, or always defend your own ideas — you may be smart but not wise. Wise bosses listen as if they’re wrong, revise their thinking, and actively seek input to improve outcomes. They’re not afraid to pivot or be challenged.

Q: Why is ‘being a human shield’ one of the most under-rated leadership traits?

• Because great bosses protect their team from nonsense, politics, and distractions. Sutton argues that a boss’s job isn’t just to lead — it’s to absorb the stupidity from above and around so their team can focus on doing great work. A good boss deflects chaos, filters requests, and takes the blame when things go wrong.

Q: What’s Sutton’s view on micromanagement — is it always bad?

• Surprisingly, no. Sutton explains that some level of direction and hands-on involvement is necessary — especially when stakes are high or tasks are unfamiliar. The trick is finding the fine line: too little guidance = confusion; too much = resentment. A good boss gives structure without suffocating autonomy.

Q: Is there such a thing as being too nice as a boss?

• Yes. Sutton warns against “sugarcoating feedback” or avoiding hard conversations to stay popular. A truly good boss gives direct, constructive feedback — not to shame, but to improve. Radical Candor (by Kim Scott) complements this idea: Care personally, challenge directly. Being kind isn’t avoiding the truth — it’s delivering it with care.

Q: What’s the role of small wins in employee motivation?

• According to Sutton, great bosses break big, scary goals into tiny, achievable wins that build momentum. Small wins help teams feel progress and success regularly — which boosts morale, motivation, and learning. It’s not just about vision; it’s about walking people there, one small step at a time.

Q: What does Sutton mean by “Bad is stronger than good”?

• He means that negative experiences stick longer and hit harder than positive ones. A single act of public shaming, sarcasm, or indifference can undo months of goodwill. That’s why good bosses must work proactively to prevent harm — not just promote good vibes. Protecting dignity is as crucial as praising success.

Q: Why do the best bosses admit when they’re wrong?

• Because it builds credibility and psychological safety. Sutton shows that people respect leaders who are transparent, even vulnerable. Admitting fault or doubt actually strengthens trust. Pretending to know everything creates distance — but showing humility invites collaboration and honesty from your team.

Q: What makes “strong opinions, weakly held” such an effective leadership approach?

• It means having clarity and confidence in your current beliefs — while staying totally open to new evidence or better ideas. Sutton encourages leaders to fight for their view until something better emerges. This mindset balances decisiveness with flexibility — a crucial skill in fast-changing environments.

Q: How can a boss tell if their leadership style is quietly demotivating their team?

Watch for these subtle signs:

• Silence during meetings (people don’t feel safe)
• Minimal initiative (fear of failure or blame)
• High turnover of high performers (they feel undervalued)
• Over-dependence on the boss (lack of ownership)

Sutton would advise reflecting on how your presence influences energy and action — are you an amplifier or a dampener?

Q: What’s one daily habit that separates a good boss from a bad boss?

Intentional reflection. Sutton says the best bosses routinely ask themselves:

• “How did I show up today?”
• “Did I create clarity or confusion?”
• “Did I protect or expose my team?”
  Self-awareness is a daily muscle — not a once-a-year 360 review.

Q: Are there any quick fixes to stop being a bad boss?

• No silver bullets — but Sutton recommends starting with listening and gratitude. Ask your team what’s working and what’s not. Thank people often. Own your mistakes. And most of all: stop doing the harmful things first. You don’t have to be perfect — but you do have to be accountable.

Robert Sutton Quote – “Don’t aim to be the hero. Aim to be the person who helps others do heroic work.:

Further Reading like Good Boss, Bad Boss

If you enjoyed Good Boss, Bad Boss by Robert Sutton, you’re likely interested in leadership that balances performance with empathy, fairness, and evidence-based management. Here are several books that share similar themes:

1. The No Asshole Rule by Robert Sutton

• A direct companion to Good Boss, Bad Boss, this book focuses on eliminating toxic behavior in the workplace.
• Emphasises how a single negative team member can destroy morale and productivity.
• Practical, witty, and based on extensive research.

2. Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek

• Explores how great leaders build trust and safety within teams.
• Strong on the importance of empathy, biological drivers of leadership, and long-term thinking.

3. Radical Candor by Kim Scott

• Offers a practical framework for giving feedback that’s both caring and direct.
• Helps managers become better coaches and build high-performing teams.

4. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel H. Pink

• Challenges traditional reward-based management models.
• Focuses on autonomy, mastery, and purpose as key motivators for teams.

5. Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter by Liz Wiseman

• Examines how some leaders amplify the intelligence and capabilities of those around them.
• Contrasts “Multipliers” with “Diminishers” — a concept similar to Sutton’s good vs. bad boss theme.

6. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

• A leadership fable that explores why teams struggle to work well together.
• Offers tools to overcome dysfunctions and build trust-based, cohesive teams.

7. Turn the Ship Around! by L. David Marquet

• A former nuclear submarine captain shares his journey to transforming a command-and-control culture into a leader-leader model.
• Powerful message on empowering team members at every level.

8. It Doesn’t Have to Be Crazy at Work by Jason Fried & David Heinemeier Hansson

• Promotes a calm, sustainable workplace culture.
• Challenges hustle culture and offers insights into leadership that values sanity and clarity.

9. First, Break All the Rules by Marcus Buckingham & Curt Coffman

• Based on research from Gallup, it outlines what great managers do differently.
• Provides actionable insights for hiring, performance management, and employee engagement.

10. Trillion Dollar Coach by Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg, and Alan Eagle

• A tribute to legendary coach Bill Campbell, who mentored Silicon Valley leaders.
• Offers a people-first, values-driven model of leadership.