How to Win Friends and Influence People – Book Summary

Summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

One of the first business books I read was Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.  This classic personal development book was written in 1936 and contains the recipe for business success and leadership. Implementing this book helped me make my first million dollars!

Here is the summary:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
2. Give honest & sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people
2. Smile!
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
4. Be a Good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other persons interests
6. Make the other person feel important

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re Wrong”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
4. Begin in a friendly way
5. Get the other person saying “Yes, Yes” immediately (start with the agreed items)
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
10. Appeal to nobler motives
11. Dramatize your ideas
12. Throw down a challenge – suggest a higher goal or purpose for them

How to Be a Better Leader

1. A leader’s job often includes changing people’s attitudes & behaviours
2. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
3. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
4. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
5. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
6. Let the other person save face
7. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “Hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”
8. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
9. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

I had that list up on my office wall for years and regularly repeated those ideas to myself and others – using them as my “Mantra” for success.

It turns out that what you repeatedly say to yourself (your “little voice” in your head) changes and guides your behaviour over time.

Positive thinking and positive behaviour start by adopting a Positive Mental Attitude, and in tough times, it’s essential.

Recommended Reading

• Read Dave’s Leadership Resources
• Read Dave’s blog on Adopting a Positive Mental Attitude